Have you ever felt that you're still living in the past? Like everything just happened yesterday, but you never regret where you are now. You just can't let go of what was there before because it made you feel a lot of what you don't have, that somehow it made you complete and gave you some sense.
Lovers sometimes grew apart in a way they'll never understand, even if they try some hearts will remain unevenly broken and might have bruises or cuts. They say, the first love doesn't have to be the first one you've love yet some people deeply hold on to it, like how a mother cares for her baby. Precious and sincere, never tainted.
Why does people need to have memories that we can never forget? Why can't we just have that same function that computers have? Delete, Escape, End, Format, Recycle. When we don't want to keep something anymore we erase it, to have wider storage for something new. So that, we don't need to go back to those things when were not preoccupied.
There are times, i just want to ask myself. "Why do you still think about it? Aren't you over it by now?" And because i can't honestly answer my own question, i try to do something that will make me forget about it. It might take an hour, days, and weeks to drive me away from the same thought that is if i'm lucky. Then again, when there's nothing else to think about, no more things to do and i'm left with my midnight songs or books and papers, i go back to the same feeling.
Years have gone and time have passed, it seems everything have changed so did i. I'm not the same girl that you've use to walk around with or talk to when you have your problems. Though some of my perception stays the same, i know i've changed and i hope it's for the better. I won't mind if you don't notice me the way you did before. It doesn't matter if you have somebody else and don't long for me anymore, i just want to know if you remember everything the way i do. If somehow, you wanted to know what was our ending, if we didn't let everything go hanging. Does your heart still beat the same when you see me or i'm near you? There are a lot of questions that i wanted to ask. Questions that will never be answered. I hope you still remember when we're still together...
I don't want to be with you now. I just want the old you, back. The way you and i once did. I know i made a lot of mistakes before and so did you. I blame you for what was done but i blame myself more for not having the courage to say how much i truly loved you. I've been keeping my feeling from you not to be hurt. However, the more i hide my feelings, the more you let your guards down for me. We were never just friends and so you know we'll never be just that simple. I wanted excitement and i know you easily get bored. It was so fun for the both of us to be in the same unbalanced boat. We try to control everything that we know we can't. We had our run and it was so good until it ended without me knowing about it. They said, something that started crazy will end up crazier, except i didn't feel it got crazier. Maybe, it just made us crazy. We shared a whirlwind kind of an affair that i can say, one of the best love story i've every seen. Even if the ending is no good, the journey was worth it.
Everyone deserves to be happy. I know that i can never give you all the happiness in the world and i'm never good at making people happy intentionally. I just hope that you find that one person who could truly give you all that you'll ever need. I just remember, you told me that you're friends said when you're with me you don't look that much happy. I took that as sign. Now, i can say i'm better. I still think of the old us and it doesn't hurt that much, it even makes me smile. Maybe, i've learned to live without you and to love the old you at a far. I thank you for all that you've shared with me. I love you for my life 'coz you're a friend of mine and when my life is over remember when we're still together..
That's the first part of this fictional story i'm starting. i hope you liked it. You'll find out more, soon.Inspired by song for you- Michael Buble version
