rehinapola: Love

Literature

It’s been long since the first time we saw each other. We were both on our way and no one seemed to bother. By the steps, we almost collide, you were on your way up and I wondered by the side. I’ve always been here before but never in my life have I thought there’ll be a day you’ll see me, the way I saw you. I remembered once, you used to look at me with those sharp yet gloomy eyes, those eyes which drawn me closer to you, speculated what path you were walking and trials you’ve come across. I was caught by your mysterious net. Those who were around don’t really know you -They admire you, they sing praises to you, and not a single fault they cast upon you. Your craft is not the only thing that makes you and that they don’t know of.

I want to tell you everything; the way I watch humans and how they love as well as hate, of desire, fear and pain. On the contrary, I choose not to, I hid all to myself, thinking that those words won’t mean a thing. I felt that writing poetry and being with you is enough to let you know I care more than I should.

You’ve always been surrounded by your muses with never ending beauty. Influential as you are, I refrain myself from envy, not for being adored by most but from them being at your side more than I. We always show certain respect for time, for tasks, for friends and of being alone, except, I don’t want to be alone. I want to be near you, I want to know those who are around you, I want to be close to you, and maybe that you didn’t know of.

But now, when there is no more time to spare and you no longer care, I say this to you, the one I have loved. I don’t intend your pity and never do I will insist to share you my grief but with the last draw of my breath, I confess all these feelings I intend to bury.

I was the one who admired you the most. I was the one who appreciated all your crafts maybe it be raw or aged. I was the one who cheered you the loudest from the crowd, when everything seemed to fail. I was always in the background.

I was the one who listened to all your stories. I was one who walked behind you when you were lost, the hand who held you in the dark, and whose arms wrapped you when your world started to fall apart. Thus, you weren’t able to feel them, I tell you now, I tried. Honestly, I did as I might. But I was weak, I was scared. I didn’t see that among all, I’d be the one who ought to fall. So, I chose for you, I chose for us. To let you go and set you free. Because you deserve someone better and I’ll be happy even if it’s not me. My choice might have been wrong because I still long for you. But remember this, my dear Apollo, every dawn, when you look up at the sky and see the moon trying to wait for the sun, it’s like us. No need for words, we’ll always get by.

Forever yours,

Calliope

Love

Grammar of Love: Punctuation

16:49

Punctuation

The marks, such as period, comma, and parentheses, used in writing to separate sentences and their elements and to clarify meaning.
Rapid or sudden speciation, as suggested by the theory of punctuated equilibrium.

I've been in the line of teaching English as a foreign language for quite awhile, but teaching punctuation has never been my forte. Lately, in one of our team discussions, I've encounter dealing with punctuation in a proof reading activity. It's not even a surprise for me to get an eight out of fifteen. I never really like Grammar, who would? When we talk, we just use our mouth despite of using our head we disregard spellings, grammar and even punctuation. Not unless you're a Grammarian that Grammar is your bread and butter. Well, not for me.

Here's my take on Grammar when entwined with love.

In every sentence, we use COMMA to pause or to breathe in between a long sentence. It’s relatively the same when it comes to LOVE. We use a Comma when we need to have a breather from either an exhausting or overwhelming relationship. It’s the time to rethink what you've said or done in the past. This is when one asks for space from their partners. Same in Grammar, when the comma separates the elements in the sentence and indicates which part of the sentence is a dependent or an independent clause.

Those clauses somehow represent people in a relationship. One is dependent when he/she can’t stand alone or would be in a manner evidently helpless or worthless without the other half. On the contrary, the independent speaks for itself. It has the ability to stand firmly and strongly alone, whatever decision or upshot come to light. It can be complete without anyone’s help.

In every sentence after a comma, the sentence must still end with a Period, Question mark or an Exclamation point, depending on the situation or dialogue. Likewise to every love story:

A Period may be a break-up or an end to a relationship. It’s when you had enough. You stop your sentence when you don’t feel like talking. When you think there’s nothing else you want to say. It stops there.

A Question Mark implies an unresolved issue, of wanting to know more, of somehow having the “what if’s” and “Why's” in the relationship. This question mark may be a sign of no closure from the relationship. As if leaving both parties questions hanging, by some means of prolonging each other’s company or agony.

An Exclamation Point which exudes an impact or a big change in a relationship which can either make or break the bond depending on how it’s been used. If sweet words were to use and ends in an exclamation point such as: “I love you”, “I miss you”, “I need you”, or so on. Needless to say, it may somehow turn the table of a period. Nevertheless, if this punctuation is to be used in dire language, need not to say that one will break while the other bare shamelessly.

Though the few punctuation beforehand emanate not your Disney happy ending expectations and doesn't satisfy your media bias beliefs at all; there’s still some few punctuation left. Don’t lose hope!

We use the Dash or hyphen for two words to come together, such as: Numbers and etc. I've seen in an article that a hyphen can change the meaning of a sentence. It’s no different with people in love. Hyphen is like marriage. It bands together two hearts as one and one will be privileged to use the other’s last name next to her maiden name by the use of a hyphen, though through the evolution of man, these days, those ties are slashed by separation; despite the fact that my country doesn't legalize it. All the same, we have Divorce, annulment and separation where in, it’s inevitable.

A Semicolon is to link two independent clause that either has contradicting statements or closely related ideas in a single sentence. In a more human sense, a semicolon happens in a relationship when two people who are, to some extent, different. May it be in the stature in life, personality, or Social and Religious preferences. When two poles of a magnet finally unites. If you think about it, A semicolon relationship would be for those wild hearts tamed by one another. ~~Oh! the hopeless romantic side of me.~~

Well, that's it for now.. I'll explain next time I feel the urge to write ;)

Literature

Letter for E

00:53

Love

Confessions from a teenage love affair

03:32

Have you ever felt that you're still living in the past? Like everything just happened yesterday, but you never regret where you are now. You just can't let go of what was there before because it made you feel a lot of what you don't have, that somehow it made you complete and gave you some sense.

Lovers sometimes grew apart in a way they'll never understand, even if they try some hearts will remain unevenly broken and might have bruises or cuts. They say, the first love doesn't have to be the first one you've love yet some people deeply hold on to it, like how a mother cares for her baby. Precious and sincere, never tainted.

Why does people need to have memories that we can never forget? Why can't we just have that same function that computers have? Delete, Escape, End, Format, Recycle. When we don't want to keep something anymore we erase it, to have wider storage for something new. So that, we don't need to go back to those things when were not preoccupied.

There are times, i just want to ask myself. "Why do you still think about it? Aren't you over it by now?" And because i can't honestly answer my own question, i try to do something that will make me forget about it. It might take an hour, days, and weeks to drive me away from the same thought that is if i'm lucky. Then again, when there's nothing else to think about, no more things to do and i'm left with my midnight songs or books and papers, i go back to the same feeling.

Years have gone and time have passed, it seems everything have changed so did i. I'm not the same girl that you've use to walk around with or talk to when you have your problems. Though some of my perception stays the same, i know i've changed and i hope it's for the better. I won't mind if you don't notice me the way you did before. It doesn't matter if you have somebody else and don't long for me anymore, i just want to know if you remember everything the way i do. If somehow, you wanted to know what was our ending, if we didn't let everything go hanging. Does your heart still beat the same when you see me or i'm near you? There are a lot of questions that i wanted to ask. Questions that will never be answered. I hope you still remember when we're still together...

I don't want to be with you now. I just want the old you, back. The way you and i once did. I know i made a lot of mistakes before and so did you. I blame you for what was done but i blame myself more for not having the courage to say how much i truly loved you. I've been keeping my feeling from you not to be hurt. However, the more i hide my feelings, the more you let your guards down for me. We were never just friends and so you know we'll never be just that simple. I wanted excitement and i know you easily get bored. It was so fun for the both of us to be in the same unbalanced boat. We try to control everything that we know we can't. We had our run and it was so good until it ended without me knowing about it. They said, something that started crazy will end up crazier, except i didn't feel it got crazier. Maybe, it just made us crazy. We shared a whirlwind kind of an affair that i can say, one of the best love story i've every seen. Even if the ending is no good, the journey was worth it.

Everyone deserves to be happy. I know that i can never give you all the happiness in the world and i'm never good at making people happy intentionally. I just hope that you find that one person who could truly give you all that you'll ever need. I just remember, you told me that you're friends said when you're with me you don't look that much happy. I took that as sign. Now, i can say i'm better. I still think of the old us and it doesn't hurt that much, it even makes me smile. Maybe, i've learned to live without you and to love the old you at a far. I thank you for all that you've shared with me. I love you for my life 'coz you're a friend of mine and when my life is over remember when we're still together..

That's the first part of this fictional story i'm starting. i hope you liked it. You'll find out more, soon.Inspired by song for you- Michael Buble version

Love

LOVE feat. 500 days of summer

17:01

I really am not a fan of this movie. Well, I think it's nice but the story itself; sucks. I think you know why!
Somehow, this movie gives the reality of our lives. As if, you can relate yourself, one way or another, it's a slap in most people's faces and people don't like that.
Personally, I think the ending is a little crappy. I'm into chick flicks aka love stories (romance). I'm a real sucker for it, I must admit. However, this movie made me feel crappy. I'm not sure but it didn't leave a mark after I watching it. I liked the trailer but isn't that bits and pieces of the movie's best part sewn together just to get people running for the theaters? Anyhow. Here are some finds that I really liked..

When I was young, I thought, relationship sucks. Well, most of my friends are boys and I learned how they treat women and it's not so nice! If you think I was traumatized by what happened to my parents, I'm not but then again, I swim through floods of doubts when it comes to commitments.

Commitment is just too big for me. Thinking about it made me wanna vomit. It's like my head spins 360 degrees in a wanderland portal. I never get serious about it and it's not that I don't want to but maybe, it's just that i'm afraid to hurt anybody's feelings because i know that my attention span is never enough. You might ask, "Is that all?". Consider another reason, though i've been chicken to admit, I'm afraid to LOVE.

Love unlike commitment, I'm uncertain on its real definition which gives me a timid understanding of it. The only love I've grown up to learn is from my parents and my sister's long term puppy love which neither turned up so well. I've been torn with love. I'm dubious if love can really make people happy or maybe just the sense of it does. In movies, tv, theater or even books. We are constantly bombarded by tons of happy endings, successful love stories, against all odds. Examine..

My two cents, it's just like eating an apple. Sometimes, it's so tempting, specially when it's blood colored red. You think it's so delicious that you bite into it without hesitations. You hear the click of its skin and your teeth begin to feel the real apple. But, while you're chewing, you take another look at the apple and see that the other half of the worm is still in tack moving in the part of the apple that you just bit. Disgusting. Awful. That's the real story.
There are times, when we are brave enough that we still try to bite some apples, yet we never acknowledge. Too chicken of how people will think about you. That's how the label game started. People who are too coward to admit what they have because they're afraid to lose what progress they think they do have. They do this:

Feelings are more often Underrated! We try to let our guards down because we know things are too good. Like, nothing feels better than these kinda stuff. Still, we fail to confess to ourselves what exactly does these things mean to us. We move closer to each other. Start to hold hands. You do things together. Talk as often as possible. Look into each others eyes. Laugh at each others lame jokes. You feel happy when he/she is around. The world get a little lighter and things get a little bit easier and bearable. However, when people gives you a label, suddenly you'll freak out. You remember boundaries and that will trigger things off. "Oopsy!"

When they don't have any other choices and they can't ignore people's questions anymore, they'll say, "We're just FRIENDS!". This absolutely feels hell for the other person who expected too much. Dreadful, as if they want to be numb from any kind of feeling. In a relationship or almost relationship, one of them is always the alpha dog. On the other hand, the underdog is the one who always get taken for granted. They invest so much emotion and time for the alpha dog, thinking that somehow it will give them the happy ending they learned from the shows. That's when you'll realize that not all things are like the movies..maybe, this movie is an exception to that.

This movie is basically derived from real life, I guess. ~~Based on my experience, perhaps..?~~ haha! That being my standpoint or am I just trying to make myself believe in it. Falling in love, even if i'm not that experienced with this kind of things, is a very special thing. As they say, it's better to love and lost than to never love at all. TRUE THAT! As for me, I just hope to find that one person who will never get tired and will never change his mind on me.. :)

**I dont own images and gif above

Subok

Paalam

The unread letter

Grammar of Love: Punctuation

Letter for E

Confessions from a teenage love affair

LOVE feat. 500 days of summer

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