She’s scared. Her heart slowly pounds on her chest, every beat is an effort to feel it.

She’s scared. Picking up her red tie and grouping her hair to set it up. She tries to put a smile on her face, it failed.

She’s been tired the whole day. Maybe, she’s not really scared. Switching the lights off to dimmer the place. Her eyes start to swell and another attempt to pull her lips to a curve, failed.

She sighed. She struggles not to think but, everything seems to blank out. It’s been a while since she felt like this and she no longer knows how to deal with it.

Perhaps, she’s wrong about not feeling scared. Perhaps, she no longer recognize the way it looks but she remembers how it feels. Maybe, she hid too long, thinking that denying it will make a difference.

She’s scared and she can’t think straight. She disappointed herself again and blaming someone else is never her option.

Randomly, paper hearts plays on. Her hands gently stroke every words she can’t really say. Her lips mouth every single letters. Softly, she let out another sigh. She paused and thought to herself, “You’re just tired”, and tried to believe it. Then, she whispered, “But, in the end, they, too, get tired and eventually leave..”

She stopped feeling scared.

She, probably, stopped feeling.

My favorite brand. No cup available here tho

cooked this for this post

I've been listening to modern poets with their random words and witty lines.
I try to find some inspiration, might get motivated to write my own version.
Yet when I try to think of a clever line or words that rhyme, I find myself writing about you.
You're like this force that draws every bit of me towards you. Like gravity, pulling every matter to the center of the earth.
All your clichés brightens my every day.
My day which only starts when you greet me, "good morning.."
Morning which doesn't really matter how early or late that is, when my day and night only consist of your good mornings and good nights.
Night that I feel so long when you're still asleep and I wait for you to turn up like I wait by the open ocean for a swell wave to ride back to the shore.
That long shore, welcoming me, like your arms stretched out, willing to take the tired me in. Wrap me in your warmth without judgement on how I stood or fell from my board.
But I don't want this to end and only talk about you.
I want this to be about the universe, about the stars and why aliens have yet to comeback.
I want this to be about My favorite writer, the books I read, the places where I love to read, the kind of shows that interest me, the movies I re-watch every time a certain feeling urges to be satisfied.
How I find watching people fascinating and my attempts, Oh! my attempts to change the subject of this rambling. But, no matter how I shifted the words and twisted the lines, it always pulls me back, to you.
Like two ends of a magnet's pole, my tongue and my brain points to you.
The you, who I find hard to trust but I tell everything to.
You, with your secrets covered by your flowery words and silence when you feel bored yet you don't want tell me. Oh! How I wish you tell me 'coz I know you get tired. I know, we've been a routine for quite a while now. But hey, I hate your silence, if you must know.
I hate when you can not talk to me and I response quicker than Superman dodging from a speeding bullet the soonest I hear from you. You're like this kryptonite weakening my defences. Like the hulk, smashing over my towering walls.
But me without you is like Batman in a crime-less Gotham, battling with myself in the dark. Hoping for the bat signal to light up my clouded starless sky.

Ipipikit ang aking mga mata pero hindi maiwasang ikaw parin ang nakikita. Sa paghampas ng hangin, bulong ng kahapon ang dala, yakap at bisig mo sa hinagap laging sumisingit.
Sinusubukang kalimutan ka, unti-unting binubura ang lahat ng ala-ala, litrato, message thread at voice recording. Binabantayang hindi na sana muling isipin ka, kaya ko naman siguro, hindi man ako ganun kasigurado.

Bakit ko pa ba naiisip, pag paligid ay tahimik, sa panahong di ko nais managinip, ang puso ko'y nanglalaban at ikaw ang pinipilit. Nais kong matutong maging masaya. Pano ko uumpisahan ng hindi ka kasama? Gayong pinaniniwala mo akong hindi ka aalis. Sinasanay mong walang ibang kayang pumalit. Subalit, lahat ay nagbabago, tulad mo at ang lahat ating mga plano. Parang di ko kayang sabayan ang bilis ng pag palit ng panahon, ang pabugsu-bugso mong pagde-desisyon. Turuan mo akong umindak kasabay ng mga alon. Ito na ba ang panahong sasabihin mong hindi mo maintindihan ang mundo at aaminin kong dahan-dahan ng nagkakakulay ang dati nakakabagot na sangsinukob.

Hihinga ako ng malalim. Bibilang. Isa. Dalawa. Tatlo. Hahakbang ng papalayo. Biglang maiisip na milya-milya ang ating layo. Babalik sa katotohanan. Uupo sa isang tabi. Tititigan ang telepono at maaalalang wala naman talagang tayo. Pero kahit pa man walang kasiguraduhan, ngingiti at makukuntento dahil masaya ako tuwing kausap kita. Baka sakaling sa huli, maisip mong masaya ka rin naman pala..

 If you're into the brrrr! kind of weather and you don't have the time for an arse-flattening drive to Baguio as well as the budget, better yet shift your gear and head to Tagaytay. For just an hour or so (depending on the traffic, of course) drive from the city, you'll be able to enjoy the perks of a nearly getaway.  Here’s the compilation of where I’ve been...

• Via car - From Osmena highway or EDSA, drive down south through Skyway then SLEX passing through Sta. Rosa exit and Nuvali, then off to Tagaytay-Calamba road.  (Use Waze for better directions)
• Via Bus - From pasay, take any Nasugbu or Lian route bus. There are some buses that don't pass Tagaytay, so better yet ask the ticketing clerk if it will. (haven't travelled via bus recently, sorry)
                   - From Buendia, near Jolibee in front of Jac liner. There are FX that will take you straight to Tagaytay.  

1. Picnic Grove - It has a nice view of the taal, as I remembered. Though, usually crowded and noisy. There are some activities that might interest you like the zipline and cable car, horseback riding and a playground. There's not much if you're not into parks but to go on a stroll or sit on a mat placed over the grass would be a nice way to spend a not so hot weather. 
   
   
   
   
   

   The pack, circa 2011
2. People's Park in the Sky - Not far along, the old unfinished mansion also known as people's park in the sky as it's a long way up and usually public transpo dare not enter the premise upward and I'm not sure why. You'll find a chapel, souvenir shops and binocular rentals to swift the perimeter.
   
   

   looks like that church in the killers MV

3. Sky Ranch - An amusement park developed by SM, so expect something that somehow looks like the grounds in MOA, it’s not much for adults if you ask me but kids surely dig it. They added some mini roller coasters and if you plan to bring your pets, don’t forget to put some diapees on

RESTAURANT | FASTFOOD

Penguin Little Black Classics No. 44
Published in Russia in 1876. Written by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Translated by Ronald Meyer.

A peculiar story about a middle-aged officer turned pawnbroker who married a lady merely half his age. A subtle requiem of his wife's life with him and how remorseful he became being strangers to each other for the longest time. Being a man of pride, he was unable to express and say how he truly felt about her through out their relationship, only to find out that he's madly in love with her at an unlikely time of their life.

Ponder on: 



His thoughts, don't they remind you of yourself? How mature enough you think you are, when the truth is, you're playing victim to naivety.

RATE: ✮✮✮✮

Panorama from the Viewing deck

Here's a list of movies I would recommend you this month. Halloween just passed, let's have a theme of spooky, gruesome, or thriller for this Movie pick of the month.

Clue
All time favorite. Suspense. Will keep you holding on your seat. Filmed and demonstrated before I was conceived. If you’re familiar with Agatha Christie’s “And then there were none”, somehow the plot of the movie moves along with it. I don’t want to give away the ending though, it’s not the same as the book, if you read it.